God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
