somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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