...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
we made out on top of his cat.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I just found puke in my bra..
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Of course I have a pirate flag
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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