I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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