im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
