after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
