I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
