I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
