We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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