My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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