I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
