Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
