How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
