check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
