Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize