she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize