Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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