Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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