We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
