My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
