Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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