mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
