I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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