Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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