Joe is yelling at the trees again.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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