i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
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Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
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I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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