I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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