We're like a lot better than the average bears
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
