We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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