I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
