Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
