this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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