Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
