I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
