Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
