How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize