So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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