The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
