I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize