I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
