Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
zippers are such a cool invention
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
