I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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