If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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