I think I just saw someone hide a body.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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