You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
