Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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