so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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