I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
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You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
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Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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