I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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