Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
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And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
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A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina