I heard we made out
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding