are you so shy because you have an std?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno