You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
