i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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