too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
