what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
