Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
