Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
How naked do you want me to be?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
