I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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