Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
