i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
