Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
