She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
