I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
