Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
