I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Randomize
