It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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