you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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